Day 1 of my “Meditation Journey” went just as poorly as I thought it would.
I’m probably being dramatic. I have the tendency to do that from time to time.
That being said, I ended the whole thing feeling somewhat disappointed.
I didn’t feel brand new. My third eye didn’t magically appear with significant insight that would change my course of life. Sure, I felt a little relaxed while I was listening to the soothing voice of the guided mediator I’d found on Apple Music, but the second the music stopped and the lights turned on I realized that I was indeed still just me- the anxious, nervous wreck that I am.
I know these things take time. They take discipline and consistency which are two things I severely lack in my life right now. That is why I am so determined to make this a routine practice in my life.
I graduated college about three years ago. The first year after college, I was just happy to be out of school. I had just moved in with my boyfriend and had found a job that would hopefully get me a kickstart on building a savings account. Suddenly, two years had passed. I was unhealthily committed to a job at a toxic work place and hadn’t written a thing since graduation- and I have a Bachelor’s in Creative Writing. I still hadn’t built up much of a savings account and I began to realize I was pretty miserable.
I was able to find a new job that has suited me well, though my duties don’t include much creative writing. While I was happy to have left the restaurant industry, I still felt a gaping hole in my life.
Flash forward to right now. Because right now, I am deciding that things are going to change. Even though this article may not seem like much to anybody who could possibly come across it, this is more of a way to hold myself accountable than anything else. Every day I will meditate. Every day I will write. Content will probably be about a whole mess of topics. But the point is: I will be writing. Which is a bigger step than I’ve taken in a very long time.
Maybe someone will come across it who is as big a mess as I am and they will relate. Isn’t that the goal for all of us who love to write?
Anyway. Let’s see what happens. I refuse to give up. (You shouldn’t either). :)
